I don't wanna hear the phrase 'social media' again

I have like/hate feelings with social media. That phrase has been repeated too many times.

My dislike probably stems from my own embarrassing experiences in social media. I know that once, I tried to show off and tried to portray a cooler version of myself, and when I recall that I cringe. All the shitty things I posted and all the crappy comments and messages I've sent sometimes makes me wish there was a switch to make me forget those things. Also, I don't trust relationships that begin in social media (which almost always also end in social media)... Maybe it doesn't apply to everyone, but in my own experience all the likes, chats, and comments don't compare to knowing someone in real life. In Facebook I sometimes feel that someone is only showing off, and when I'm also showing off then we end up presenting our fake selves to each other. Then when we meet in real life again and I find that I resent them, that he or she doesn't actually know me (or do I know them) with any factual basis because of the castle of lies and assumptions from their impressions of me in social media.

Also, I've noticed that Facebook (or the website of your choice) and mocking people on Facebook has become a past time. It seems that Facebook has dominated our everyday life, our relationships, present and inevitable as the air you're breathing. Is it just me, or do people try to make their lives seem so enviable? (Or maybe I am merely jealous because no one likes my posts). I scroll past Facebook and I admit I sometimes get envious. Other people... prettier, hotter, thinner, more lovable, get more likes, have more exciting lives, take better pictures, in some fabulous vacation abroad, in a relationship or whatever. What gets me is food porn, when they post luscious pictures of what they're eating and it just makes me so jealous... and hungry for cakes and drinks I can't afford.

Then I realize getting jealous is also me being self-centered. Me, me, me, comparing myself to them and what I lack. So I deactivate, get away from it for a while. And I use anonymous websites and fake names in accounts with none of the people I know in real life. I find them much more comfortable than people I know the actual names and faces of.

If not for Facebook, I wouldn't know or even remember barely half of my acquaintances or former friends that are no longer friends. And sometimes we're all not part of each other's lives anymore, that I prefer just forgetting about them save for a few.

The internet is the opiate of the masses.

This Holy Week, the city's streets are empty. I walked downtown, along closed malls, shops, and stalls which used to be crowded. (Imagining the Apocalypse, waiting for zombies.)

Anyway, I prefer blogging than other social media. I got used to being deactivated off Facebook though at first it felt like cutting off my only social life. A reason why I don't use it is its a time-suck, though the real reason is this: Facebook makes me feel miserable. I see profiles with their pictures and updates with how fun their life is, and I feel vague jealousy. Without the internet, what would our lives be? But I also know that there's a divide between our idealized selves online and the real self off screen. I admit I used to post stuff that will make me look cool, 'liking' things I deem are cool, posting things I think are witty to be 'liked', things to elate my ego.

Well, I can ignore that part and just connect with friends I don't see. I'll be there again soon. Maybe I'm just being overrated.

We are called "Generation Me": and there's some truth in this. Too much of anything (like narcissistic isolation) is bad. There's already many articles offering help on how to quit as if its some kind of drug, such as "How to quit Facebook" from Psychology Today magazine.

Anyway, nothing much today. Tagged:
1.) What is your name: Allana
2.) A four letter word: airs
3.) A boy’s name: Arthur
4.) A girl’s name: Artemis
5.) An occupation: Attorney
6.) A color: Alabaster
7.) Something you wear: A T-shirt
8.) A food: Apple pie
9.) Something found in the bathroom: Apple scented shampoo
10.) A country: Austria
11.) A reason for being late: A traffic jam
12.) Something you shout: AAAAAAAAAAAAA!
13.) A movie title: A Streetcar named Desire
14.) Something you drink: Apple juice
15.) A musical group: A Perfect Circle
16.) An animal: Ass as in donkey
17.) A street name: Andres Bonifacio Avenue?
18.) A type of car: A Streetcar named Desire (movie title...)
19.) An internet site/blogsite: Altavista.com
20.) A song: Alejandro by Lady Gaga
21.) A President’s name: Atty. President (?)
22.) A cartoon character: Adams family
23.) Name of School: A+ Academy (fictional school)
24.) A sport: A Basketball
25.) A Latin word : absum-to be absent, be away, be missing.

Instructions
1.) Copy tag to your own notes and start modifying it.
2.) Omit existing answers.
3.) Write your answers and tag as many as you want.

No tags!

Next: quit the Internet

I heard my classmates talk: "Gin like mo to?" "Oo gin-like ko." "Lain to ya gin-like mo mong!"
-They sounded as if their friendship depends on 'likes'.
- - - - -
sa Survivor ni Chuck Palahniuk, about sa religion sang character, pero pwede man ma-apply sa tanan nga gina-pa-memorize nga guro malipatan man:

We were kept busy learning. We had a million facts to remember. We memorized half the Old Testament.

We thought all this teaching was to make us smart. What it did was make us stupid.

With all the little facts we learned, we never had the time to think. We were so excited about passing tests, we never looked beyond the night of the baptism.

We were all so worried about our worst fears, we never considered how boring life would be even if we succeeded and got a good job.

- - - - -
from No Reason for Murder:

If we suppose there are people who are enthusiastic about becoming great, there are also people who find peace in becoming small. It's the common notion that becoming great is always a worthwhile goal, the only good thing there is. But the opposite of that idea can give pleasure as well.

—30—

A bit of time away from society may be good, just don't spend it pitying yourself- it worked for me. But after almost a year of seclusion, its quite difficult adjusting back to FHBs* (fellow human beings) and 'normal' life. I'm not sure I missed it, hearing all the backbiting... again, the three things people DO, THINK, and SAY are never the same.

I deleted my Facebook. Yes, there are ways. Its a great site, but I have no use for it. I used to waste time every time I log in, reading about others, thinking of clever status updates... all gone.
- - - - -
finished Cormac McCarthy's The Road.
"I don't want to say my name. I couldn't trust you with it. To do something with it. I don't want anybody talking about me. To say where I was or what I said when I was there. I mean, you could talk about me maybe. But nobody could say it was me. I could be anybody. I think in times like these the less said the better."

TWATM pt. 2

Exaggeration
Ako? Exaj? What?

Faceless
Wala akong pictures kasi wala akong mukha.

Graceless
"Aso, kabayo, at orchids lang ang may BREEDING! AKO, WALA!" -Earvin Delikado

Heartless
"How can you be so cold, so heartless?" he asked me. Then I showed him, my heart, in a jar of formaldehyde.

Logging in Facebook and seeing everyone woe and whine about heartbreak makes me glad I don't know anything about relationshits.

History
I failed everything in high school except History. I wrote down EVERYTHING the teacher said, including smartass remarks. My notebook was complete with narratives, dialogues. It was so great she didn't return it. Well, if she's using it now to teach ignorant high school kids (who won't listen anyway), then all's good.

Time Travel
Post sang friend sa FB: If only I could...
tanan nag-sabat: turn back time...
Ako ya, kay exaj: ...turn back time, if only I had said what I still hide, if only I could turn back time, I would stay for the night. Turn back time by AQUA? (Ang nag-kanta man BARBIE GIRL, rilly) wtf ga-post na ko ya lyrics man

Zombies
I decided that zombies are over-represented. These days its all about zombies and ninjas (zombie ninjas, anyone?). We need more on fairies, mermaids, leprechauns, tentacled monsters etc. But my cousin who is a zombie junkie insists: zombie fairies and zombie mermaids. I mean, he's got it all ready in case of zombie outbreak. Guns, supplies, you name it.