Monday, February 3, 2014

I don't wanna hear the phrase 'social media' again

I have like/hate feelings with social media. That phrase has been repeated too many times.

My dislike probably stems from my own embarrassing experiences in social media. I know that once, I tried to show off and tried to portray a cooler version of myself, and when I recall that I cringe. All the shitty things I posted and all the crappy comments and messages I've sent sometimes makes me wish there was a switch to make me forget those things. Also, I don't trust relationships that begin in social media (which almost always also end in social media)... Maybe it doesn't apply to everyone, but in my own experience all the likes, chats, and comments don't compare to knowing someone in real life. In Facebook I sometimes feel that someone is only showing off, and when I'm also showing off then we end up presenting our fake selves to each other. Then when we meet in real life again and I find that I resent them, that he or she doesn't actually know me (or do I know them) with any factual basis because of the castle of lies and assumptions from their impressions of me in social media.

Also, I've noticed that Facebook (or the website of your choice) and mocking people on Facebook has become a past time. It seems that Facebook has dominated our everyday life, our relationships, present and inevitable as the air you're breathing. Is it just me, or do people try to make their lives seem so enviable? (Or maybe I am merely jealous because no one likes my posts). I scroll past Facebook and I admit I sometimes get envious. Other people... prettier, hotter, thinner, more lovable, get more likes, have more exciting lives, take better pictures, in some fabulous vacation abroad, in a relationship or whatever. What gets me is food porn, when they post luscious pictures of what they're eating and it just makes me so jealous... and hungry for cakes and drinks I can't afford.

Then I realize getting jealous is also me being self-centered. Me, me, me, comparing myself to them and what I lack. So I deactivate, get away from it for a while. And I use anonymous websites and fake names in accounts with none of the people I know in real life. I find them much more comfortable than people I know the actual names and faces of.

If not for Facebook, I wouldn't know or even remember barely half of my acquaintances or former friends that are no longer friends. And sometimes we're all not part of each other's lives anymore, that I prefer just forgetting about them save for a few.

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