[fave fictional people #2] We are all alone together: Tomoko Kuroki from Watamote

This is dedicated to those who have haunted empty places to spend time in, a corner where no one passes by. To those who have silent rooms in the mind to retreat in when the outside world is much too noisy and imagination is the only escape. To those who can spend weeks and months and years with no one but themselves. To those who have been desperate for friends who could understand, a group to belong in, and found only disappointment and learning that in the end you were better off with no one and you shouldn't have opened up. 'Open up' only means you also open yourself to unwelcome judgment, and it only ended with hurt.

Cheers to our loyal companion, the one who will truly never desert us... toast your wine glasses to loneliness! Whether you hate it or love it, whether it makes you cry or makes you content, whether you accept it or reject it... "We come into the world alone and we die alone. Why, in life, should we be any less alone?" said the cynic Diogenes. We learn a kind of zen here, we know how to live with it, and keep the wolves out, and keep our sanctuaries of screens, keyboards, and bookshelves clean. (Random Reader complains: "Here she goes again with the same old topic!").

"Books were safer than people anyway." ~Neil Gaiman

Ah, that was just an attempt to write a pretty-sounding paragraph and not that related to the subject. I'm okay, and time alone is as important as time with others... But we've all been there once, alone in a pit hole of that shitty experience unique to you and only you. Good people may have tried to help, but ultimately we face it by ourselves. Anyway, we all find ways to dig a way out and survive.

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I'll talk about an anime. First, this character is odd in a way that most internet posts I've read say that they can relate to her so much. It's almost like their lives animated. She's hysterical, lonely, desperate, paranoid, deranged, perverted, bitter and envious at the same time about people she thinks are better than her. She just wants to be popular but she just can't! Here's our girl, Tomoko Kuroki from the CRINGE comedy (yes, that needed all-caps because it is a major depressing cringefest) WataMote -- shortcut for a long title, No Matter How You Look at It, It's All Your Fault I'm Not Popular!

The new face of that expired meme, Forever Alone, but still relevant for our times

"When she enters her first year of high school expecting her life to suddenly turn around, she is stunned when absolutely nothing changes. This forces her to take a hard look at herself for the first time, and resolve to become more sociable and popular. Horrible, horrible Hilarity Ensues."

Replace that high school with "college" and you get the worst version of myself way back (Only the first sentence, not the trying to be popular part). The show is funny, it's sad, I cry from both laughter and sadness for both the hilarity and the biting truth of it. Tomoko's life seems to be one embarrassing moment after another as she tries (and always fails) to be popular.

"I'm not all that quiet either! I'm actually a cheerful and funny girl!" Yeah right. 

What I found funny is after a long time of not looking at a mirror, she puked at the sight of herself. I can't count how many times I've laughed during all the episodes. She pukes a lot, actually. The show focuses on her often hysterical inner monologue, her delusional thinking, and overactive imagination.

An accurate summary of their loving relationship

Aside from her misadventures, what keeps me watching is her family life. Considering she has like less than three people she can call friends, the anime shows many mundane scenes with her at home. Also, her younger brother is often the victim of her silly antics, and it's a realistic depiction of typical siblings -- mutual irritation, bickering, and keeping your sister/brother out of your room. 

“At some point, this show will hit way too close to home for you. You will either be incredibly depressed or appreciative that someone out there understands you, but you will inevitably experience one or the other. Watch, laugh, cringe, perhaps feel a little better about yourself.” -madp bully pulpit, Reviewer

I hope it will have a happy ending.

"April's ending already!?" [long rant ahead]

I was about to write something eloquent to say that this blog will be updated rarely, that I'm thinking of abandoning it and just post book reviews. Then, something happens that makes me say: Wait, I still have a lot of Shit To Say that I can only write out. Writing it out is better than speaking it out loud. Words can be rewritten, edited, and polished to convey what I want to say clearer than when I speak. My writing personality is stronger than the rest of me. I think the 'me' here is different from Real Life^TM. Except when:

"You keep a blog, and in that blog you say shit, and the shit comes back to haunt you," said author Caitlín R. Kiernan in an interview. For me, that also applies to all stupid things and comments I ever posted on the internet. Or anything I ever told anyone I now regret telling them. I'm not a fan of 'opening up'.

These two pictures sum it up:

I have more sympathy for the sunken Titanic.

This is what I want to tell anyone who imposes on me their Idea Of Fun. It seems they don't even know what 'relativity' means. I have tried to conform to their Idea Of Fun, but turns out I was happier in MY own Idea Of Fun. Yes, I get this all the time. I have to keep my cool because sometimes these people need a dose of a Punch In The Face^TM  for their arguments. Not that I'm strong enough to hit them, but its what I imagine doing. "My Idea Of Fun? You leaving me alone," is what I will say next time it happens. (This is not about books at all like in the picture).

This sounds vague. To be specific (I hate bringing this up again): annoying extroverts who try to convince introverts that extroversion is the Only Way To Be. Hell, that I even describe myself as that was a long time ago! Someone assumed I was "anti-social" and proceeded to lecture me and try to 'improve' me. What the hell? The issue is very simple: I get along okay with everyone! I just really need some alone time or I'll go crazy! Is that so abnormal? Problem is, they don't even believe me or hear out my side. They'd rather stick to their imaginary version of me. They'd rather tell me what they think is RIGHT, when I'm fine and alright with myself.

I was really drained from entertaining his arguments. He never succeeded in 'improving' me (only in pissing me off, which I think was his intention all along then tell me to 'Calm down' when I was reasonably explaining my side). Well, congratulations mister! You're a Toxic Energy Vampire I'd get rid from my life! "I'm not anti-social, I just don't like you! I'm only anti-social towards you."

OMFG, why didn't I think of that last two sentences earlier? Really, all good answers come late. I should've said it lovingly, with a smile and a happy tone. Ah, let's just erase this day from memory.

All this? What happens when someone creates problems out of nothing. 

Moral lesson: It's people who assume they are 'well-meaning' are prone to be control freaks. They tend to be assholes who aren't aware they are assholes because of their (self)righteous ideas. I learned today to never speak to them in the first place. They seem to get an odd satisfaction when they get people to shut up. I don't know how to say that in English: it's when people are like, "Te, nag-hipos man sya gali" to prove themselves right. They get off on that. Don't speak to them and pretend they don't exist. They won't have the satisfaction of 'shutting you up' if you don't speak to them. I wish I was strong enough to do a decent Punch In The Face^TM on them. For now I'm content with the mental image.

My Answer: That quote from Neil Armstrong I posted a long time ago. Ah, maybe that person didn't care enough to be updated about my life. Not that I expect anyone to be.

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 Topic #3: Quotes of the Week

I'm reading a funny story. Some may be annoyed by the main character's attitude, but he has reasons for acting that way. If I was surrounded with people like those around him I'd act like that, too. Some quotes:

• "He was the careless dud, the false alarm, somebody who strived to be nobody."
• "Nobody liked him and he liked nobody. That was the natural balance of the world around him and that was where it needed to stay. A friend would only get in his way."
• "At least his sister put food into his stomach and a roof over his head. These teachers didn't offer anything of remote use to him, and thus he wouldn't succumb to their will."
• "After all, where he went people did not follow, and where he stayed was were people left. It suited him just fine."
• "He was not a joker. He was just one of those drifting nobodies who wished everyone would leave him the hell alone.

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In writing all that out, I feel so calm now. Something to laugh about later.This is the last time I mention it, and somehow I don't feel angry anymore -- I just feel pathetic for wasting my time.

Reaction: Rurouni Kenshin live action movie

There's no anime I watched and re-watched more than Samurai X. I watched it in Tagalog, in English, in original subtitled, over and over again in grade school that I almost memorized everything that happened in the story. My fondest memories of the summer just after Grade 6, before high school, was watching the marathon run of around 10 episodes a day during afternoons in Studio 23 (along with Final Fantasy, Rave!, and Angelic Layer. Loved all of them). I imagined that if I could relive a past life, it will be in 1890s Japan (2nd to medieval Europe). Never again will I be so absorbed in a story that way! Knowing there's a live action film, more than a decade after the anime's airing, of course I could not miss it.

The movie is set in the Meiji Restoration, ending a violent era with Japan adopting new systems from the Western World. The Samurai class is no longer influential. "Its the wives and daughters of samurai who now run the brothels, former samurai are now gangs of petty thieves," says the businessman who celebrates the 'New Age' with drug and firearm trade.

The former notorious killer Battosai Himura decides to live a new life as a wanderer, and now carries a reverse-bladed sword as a vow not to kill again. But can he run away from the past, or his past can't help but stay? As Saito (a former samurai, now a cop) says, "Wandering is the easy way out. We live by the sword and die by the sword." To those familiar with the story, we know Kenshin will still fight many enemies along the way, old and new, challenging his beliefs. As the antagonist in the movie says: once a killer, always a killer.

A still-scarless Battosai (now Kenshin with the scar).

In the movie, they encounter two villains: the greedy businessman Kanryu Takeda and the psychotic killer Udo Jine. Megumi, who came from a doctor's family, makes opium for Takeda. Udo Jine is a former Samurai who works for Takeda, but still blood-thirsty, kills many using the name of Battosai. He mocks Kenshin's new ways. Jine would be very satisfied to see Kenshin as the merciless killer again, and provokes him. Will Kenshin yield?

Clockwise from left: Kaoru, Sanosuke, Saito, and Megumi

Their cast is perfect for their roles. My favorites were Saito and Sanosuke. Sano: who else would pause in the middle of a fight to eat lechon manok and even offer some to his opponent? They even drink together. Then back to the action. Saito blurs the line of morality, and mocks Kenshin too. As a former Samurai, he easily blended in the new age as a police officer. I like the way he smirks.


Overall, a fun and action-filled movie. Let's end this post with Takeda and his fruity assistants. The masked guy could be an endorser for Pantene. 

PostSecrets (image heavy)

Postsecret, an anonymous community where secrets are submitted, has been one of my favorite websites since I discovered the internet. I've saved many secrets over the years, thinking that they might be used later for blog entries. Since I got so many of them with no entries written to go with them, I'll just post them all here.

 
I found out this was written by artist Frida Kahlo, the woman in the picture. She said this about some French artists: "They are so damn 'intellectual' and rotten that I can't stand them anymore....I'd rather sit on the floor in the market of Toluca and sell tortillas, than have anything to do with those 'artistic' bitches of Paris." 
Okay, I'm now a fan. 

- - - - -

 
True!

• Postsecrets on school and education

 

• Crime

 

• Family

• On being hot
• 
  
• Doubting oneself

 

I don't know how to categorize these:

Of course, secrets to lighten up the day a bit:

 

 

I don't have anything to say, here's links

• Why Naruto should be over: Kakashi has nothing left to read

"The only character who anybody really cares about on this damn show is Kakashi, who never gets to do anything interesting because we're supposed to be more interested in his neurotic asshole students.  Kakashi is so bored on this show (and who could blame him) that he's been dealing with his stultifying life by reading erotic novels, especially his favorite series Come Come Paradise. Well, the author of Come Come Paradise is no more, meaning Kakashi's spiritual sustenance is gone. Now, rather than sticking his nose in the latest CCP to give everyone the message that he doesn't care about their idiotic little lives and their idiotic little problems, Kakashi will have to stand there and listen to what the other characters on this show have to say. It is true that his character is somewhat shrouded in mystery, but I don't see what he could have possibly done in his past to make him deserve this.

In this situation, either he will commit ritual suicide, or he'll defect to another anime that actually features intelligent people, like Ghost in the Shell or something."

• Adventures in Depression: "If my life was a movie, the turning point of my depression would have been inspirational and meaningful. It would have involved wisdom-filled epiphanies about discovering my true self and I would conquer my demons and go on to live out the rest of my life in happiness." This short funny comic describes my petty depressions one time (Jan'09-Oct'10)

Library memes

I should've thought of this last semester when we were required to do a bulletin board. Anyway, I doubt that the teacher will get it. Keep these in mind when inside your school's library. (Promotional posters of Rizal Library- Ateneo de Manila)