Thursday, May 10, 2012

Where all lost things go

*I wrote this when I was desperate because I lost something important (not a diary). I found it four weeks later when I wasn't thinking about it, here all along. I have quite a reputation for being forgetful and absent-minded. 
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lost thigns garbage heap how to find lost things story searching
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 She slumped on the chair, broom in hand. Strands of unkempt hair stuck on the moist sheen of sweat on her forehead and neck. A sigh of resignation. She's swept and overturned every corner of her room and the house, opened every bag and folder, rearranged entire shelves and drawers but she still didn't find it. I must have left it on the chair during class. But why would I leave it there when I always check? Appear! So she surveyed the room once more, swept, overturned, looked, reviewed her steps the day it was lost. Still nothing.

Stop tormenting me! Bring it back! The despair of something ultimately lost and irretrievable. The relief of finding it was just there after all (but not this time). She's ofen heard her mom complain to "them"-- invisible beings that borrow things only to "return" it to the place where youre sure you've placed that something. How many days has it been? Has someone read it? Well, my name's not there, but all my delusional thoughts, hatreds, and fantasies are there. Hell, why did I even write it all down!?

 After another unsucessful half-hour of searching, she ended up on the computer, googled "How to search for lost things". It suggested breathing exercises. Step 1: Don't look for it. Sometimes your stress doesn't make you clearly see what's in front of you, it says. Up to Step 13, which says Let Go. Simply accept it was lost. She skimmed another article on how to look for things using ESP and psychic powers, but she didn't read further than the first paragraph. Well, its just another notebook. Who'll know it was me anyway...

People always tell her she always looks lost. She's always looking for something. She almost has a talent for losing things when she most needs them. Her mother can't trust her with anything. They still haven't developed the software for my problem.

 The last thing she lost was her wallet with 2,000 pesos of tuition payment. She hasn't told her mother, she just starved in school for weeks to save it back. She lost five wallets before that. She's thought of going to school to look for it. The heat's outside unbearable and and her nth umbrella was left god-knows-where. No cash. She's lost her diary with her shittiest secrets not meant for anybody to read but herself.

 No, it wasn't filled with raunchy sexcapades (no potential or experience or appeal for that), it doesn't have classified information that will cost the safety of the country. She forgets everything but tells herself this is the last. But she loses another five things everytime she decides that, so not very encouraging. This won't work. Let's try the law of attraction: I will see it tomorrow, dancing in front of my face. I wish there was a spell for finding lost things. Where do lost things go?

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