Sunday, February 2, 2014

Book Spotlight: 'The Drowning Girl' by Caitlin R. Kiernan (2011)

The Drowning Girl: A Memoir is one book I've read countless times, and it seems to get better the more I reread it. For me, the narrator's voice is compelling and memorable - she's the one writing the memoir, an attempt to piece together her contradicting memories about a woman named Eva Canning... "who might have been a ghost, or a wolf, or maybe a mermaid, or possibly, most likely, nothing that will ever have a name." But Imp is a schizophrenic who has problems with perceptions of reality. Its a book with a broad scope, so its quite difficult for me to summarize. Even this review from Publisher's Weekly, though good, is still limited, I think:

Kiernan’s finely crafted stand-alone fantasy guides an artistic young woman through a maze of false memories and blurred realities. A diagnosis of schizophrenia is no surprise to India Morgan Phelps, aka Imp; her “family’s lunacy lines up tidy as boxcars” down the generations. Meds and psychiatry help keep her stable until she meets Eva Canning, who looks just like the woman in The Drowning Girl, an 1898 painting that has enthralled Imp since she was a child. Imp’s need to learn the truth about Eva brings on dreams and memories that can’t be real, and the obsession only gets worse when Eva abruptly disappears. Could Eva be the ghost of the woman who inspired the painter of The Drowning Girl, or a priestess whose worshippers died in a mass drowning in 1991? The chiding voice in Imp’s head urges her to get her stories straight, but how can she when reality keeps changing? Kiernan evokes the gripping and resonant work of Shirley Jackson in a haunting story that’s half a mad artist’s diary and half fairy tale. Agent: Merrilee Heifetz, Writers House. (Mar.)

Here are better reviews: Elizabeth Hand's and from Tor.com.

I also don't know how to recommend it... at first reads it was quite vague and annoying, but then the mysteries began to get clearer at later reads. It can turn off some readers (from what I can gather from the negative reviews). What I admire most is how Imp was written. She's only a fictional character yet this gave the effect that she does exist, and the writer to create such a believable person is amazing. In the memoir, Imp inserts her own writings, two short stories that are my favorite parts of the book: "The Mermaid of the Concrete Ocean" and "Werewolf Smile". These are fictions inspired by Eva the mermaid and Eva the werewolf.

So... instead of trying to write a review, here are quotes from the book, which tells more about the book that what I can say about it. Though I am not insane like Imp, I do relate to her... especially the things about intrusive thoughts.

On crazy: "It’s a myth that crazy people don’t know they’re crazy. Many of us are surely as capable of epiphany and introspection as anyone else, maybe more so. I suspect we spend far more time thinking about our thoughts than do sane people."
"Am I dragging my feet because I’m a crazy woman who knows damn well she’s crazy, but who doesn’t want to be reminded just how crazy she is by having to tell two stories that are true, when only one can be factual?"

On religion: "We never went to church, because my mother was a lapsed Roman Catholic, and always said I’d be better off steering clear of Catholicism, if only because it meant I’d never have to go to the trouble of eventually lapsing."

Libraries: "All my life, I have loved visiting the Athenaeum on Benefit Street. Rosemary and Caroline took me there more often than the central branch of the Providence Public Library downtown. The Athenaeum, like so much of Providence, exists out of time, preservationists having seen that it slipped through the cracks while progress steamrolled so much of the city into sleek modernity. Today, the Athenaeum isn’t so very different than in the days when Edgar Allan Poe and Sarah Helen Whitman courted among the stacks. I couldn’t begin to imagine how many hours I’ve spent wandering between those tall shelves and narrow aisles, or lost in some volume or another in the reading room on the lowermost floor. Housed there within its protective shell of pale stone, the library seems as precious and frail as a nonagenarian. Its smell is the musty commingling fragrance of yellowing pages and dust and ancient wood. To me, the smells of comfort and safety. It smells sacred."

On ghosts: "Ghosts are those memories that are too strong to be forgotten for good, echoing across the years and refusing to be obliterated by time. That’s another thing about ghosts, a very important thing—you have to be careful, because hauntings are contagious. Hauntings are memes, especially pernicious thought contagions, social contagions that need no viral or bacterial host and are transmitted in a thousand different ways. A book, a poem, a song, a bedtime story, a grandmother’s suicide, the choreography of a dance, a few frames of film, a diagnosis of schizophrenia, a deadly tumble from a horse, a faded photograph, or a story you tell your daughter."

Intrusive thoughts: "I explained to her that, “It’s like I put on a pair of headphones, and at first there’s no sound at all coming through them. No music. No voices. Nothing. But then,” I said, “way in the background, so soft maybe you only think you’re hearing it, there’s static. White noise. Or someone whispering. And slowly that sound gets louder and louder. At first, it’s easy to ignore. It’s hardly even there. But, eventually, it grows so loud you can’t hear anything else. In the end, the sound swallows the whole world. Even if you take the headphones off, that noise won’t stop.” She nodded, and smiled, and told me I’d eloquently described what are called intrusive thoughts. Involuntary and unwelcome thoughts that can’t be shut out no matter how hard someone tries."

Hauntings: "Sirens are intrusive thoughts that even sane men and women have. You can call them sirens, or you can call them hauntings. Doesn’t matter. Once Odysseus heard the sirens, I doubt he ever forgot their song. He would have been haunted by it all the rest of his life. Even after his terrible twenty-year journey, the archery competition, even after he gets Penelope back and the story has a happy “ending,” he must still have been haunted by their song, in his dreams and when he was awake. Every time he saw the sea or the sky."

Dr. Ogilvy and the pills she prescribes are my beeswax and the ropes that hold me fast to the mainmast, just as my insanity has always been my siren. As it was Caroline’s siren and Rosemary’s siren before me. Caroline listened and chose to drown. Rosemary drowned, even though there were people who tried to stuff her ears and did tie her down. 

This book trailer got the feel of the story right:

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Library Misadventures (& more on cataloging)

If you've got a book near you, try turning to the back of the title page, the one with the publication details. You might see a Text-CIP, or "Cataloging in Publication". For example, The Drowning Girl by Caitlín R. Kiernan has these subject headings: “1. Schizophrenics – Fiction. 2. Self-actualization (Psychology) in women – Fiction.” Those are from the Library of Congress Subject Headings, and there are rules and prescribed vocabularies on assigning those terms. LC, however, is mostly used for academic disciplines and contains a lot of technical terms. (There are also other sources for subject headings other than LC, such as the Sear’s List). However, libraries now usually copy publication information from shared online databases and directly download to the library online catalog to save time. But there are materials that the library needs to classify, so the LC is an important tool in cataloging. Subject headings lead users to the resources they need and that’s important in cataloging.

This is what the printed LC looks like. We have to flip through these volumes numerous times to search and get the appropriate subject headings. 
That’s what we’re doing now in SEAFDEC AQD Library, assigning headings for research papers and journal articles. But it is brain-draining work for us who still has to analyze them, as most of these research works on Fisheries and Aquaculture are written in scientific and technical jargon. After that, it will be encoded in their database. Anyway, the librarian who’s in charge of us is a great teacher and I admit I only learned how to properly use the LCSH from his teaching. I still need a lot of practice on it. It’s only our second week there, and we still have a lot to do until February! I’m grateful for the experience here, as the SEAFDEC library and librarians have won numerous awards from library associations – especially PAARL (Philippine Association of Academic & Research Libraries).

In RL... I’m busy catching up with the hours needed for the practicum. MWF we’re in Tigbauan, TTh in school due to a couple of remaining subjects and duty hours in Henry Luce. I’m currently in the Theology Library. I’m trying my best to squeeze in what I can in reading and writing.

I like working in SEAFDEC, I like how calm it is there. I’m interested in the ocean, so reading and analyzing studies about it and its creatures is a welcome challenge. We ride their bus for free from the city to Tigbauan and back, so it’s no trouble. It seems that the only time I can read uninterrupted is during the bus ride.

I finished a book there, Two Worlds and in Between: The Best of  Caitlín R. Kiernan, vol. 1, read from my Kindle. It’s a short story collection of one of my favorite authors. The stories are more atmosphere than suspenseful plot – the recurring themes are about the ocean, space, and parallel worlds. My favorite pieces are: “Onion”, “Andromeda among the Stones”, and “The Dry Salvages”. I like The Dry Salvages best, it’s a written account about a tragic space exploration to a distant planet, told by its sole remaining survivor...

"And still we do not see that we are not gods, The holy fathers and holy mothers and demons of our lost antiquities. We do not comprehend our insignificance at the feet of eternity. We have not the time to learn. We have not the courage to admit. We have not the strength to accept, and, accepting, move beyond this grinding infancy. Instead, we bring snow and ice to birthday parties in Hell and congratulate our ignorance.”

Monday, January 6, 2014

Great Reads Quarterly, Oct.-Dec. 2013 (4/4)

This is the last of these quarterly round-ups of book reactions, since I think its a mess and talking about individual books for each post is easier. (Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 of Great Reads Quarterly 2013).

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson
“My name is Mary Katherine Blackwood. I am eighteen years old, and I live with my sister Constance. I have often thought that with any luck at all, I could have been born a werewolf, because the two middle fingers on both my hands are the same length, but I have had to be content with what I had. I dislike washing myself, and dogs, and noise. I like my sister Constance, and Richard Plantagenet, and Amanita phalloides, the death-cup mushroom. Everyone else in our family is dead.” 

So begins the book, told from the deceptive innocent voice of Merricat. We learn about her life, living in the isolated Blackwood mansion with her sister Constance and Uncle Julian. Merricat is the only one  who ventures out her home to the village, as the uncle is paralyzed and the sister is hiding from the village's hate - she's the suspected murderess of her own family. The murder of the Blackwood family remains a mystery, and still casts a pall over its remaining members. The uncle is still obsessed with that day, trying to remember all the details to include in a book he is writing about the massacre.

What's fascinating is the narrator's disturbed mind, which written from her perspective sounds reasonable and normal to herself. The girl is clearly insane and unstable, but its written in a charming and sympathetic way. Though a haunting book, the love between the sisters was portrayed well. Especially for Constance, who still sacrifices for her sister despite her sins. Also, the ending is both amazing and despairing at the same time.



Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente
“The man who knelt before her would have sprung from her needles, even down the ghostly flecks of silver in his hair. She had not known before that she wanted all these things, that she preferred dark hair and a slightly cruel expression, that she wishes for tallness, or that a man kneeling might thrill her.”

Oh my god is the only proper articulation of what this book made me feel. Every page just left me breathless with art and wonder, this book made me realize that words arranged in the right way can induce shivers and chill. Deathless is a retelling and deconstruction of a Russian fairy tale, the story of Marya Morevna and Koschei the Deathless re-imagined in the landscape of the time of Stalin. But it does not dwell too much in this reality. This is how fantasy should be, how a reader can be transported by osmosis into another place, familiar yet alien and filled with both beauty and terror. A reminder that if rendered the right way, magic is there and it is real, in the written word.

The tale begins with a young Marya Morevna, and with her we take a tour through the different creatures from Russian folklore. Then, Koschei the Deathless took her as his wife. Koschei is the Czar of Life, and since the world began he had been at war with his brother Viy, the Czar of Death. Marya plays a role in this war and changes from innocent to ruthless, during this war. Who will win, Life, or Death? That is, until Ivan comes, a chance for Marya to regain her lost humanity.

Well, that didn't say anything about the story, right? Here's the review from Publisher's Weekly (I know, I'm lazy):
"Twentieth-century Russian history provides a background for Valente's lush reimagining of folkloric villain Koschei the Deathless and his dalliance with Marya Morevna, a clever but troubled young woman. After Koschei sweeps Marya away from her family's home in St. Petersburg-Petrograd-Leningrad, Baba Yaga assigns her three tasks that will make her worthy of marrying Koschei. As she spends more time in Koschei's Country of Life, Marya starts to become too much like her unearthly lover, until naïve Ivan Nikolayevich helps her regain her humanity. Valente's lush language and imagery add to the magic and fundamentally Russian nature of the story, drawing pointed parallels between the Soviet Union's turmoil and the endless war between Koschei and his brother, Viy."

“Oh, I will be cruel to you, Marya Morevna. It will stop your breath, how cruel I can be. But you understand, don’t you? You are clever enough. I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel and extremely unreasonable. But I am your servant. When you starve I will feed you; when you are sick I will tend you. I crawl at your feet; for before your love, your kisses, I am debased. For you alone I will be weak.” (Koschei to Marya)

“You have already gone into that tent. You have already made off with her. You have already lost her. You could tell your tale differently this time, I suppose. But you won’t. Your name will always be Ivan Nikolayevich. You will always go into that tent. You will see her scar, below her eye, and wonder where she got it. You will always be amazed at how one woman can have so much black hair. You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast. You will always run away with her. You will always lose her. You will always be a fool. You will always be dead, in a city of ice, snow falling into your ear. You have already done all of this and will do it again.” (The Gamayun to Ivan, about Marya)

Invisible: A Memoir by Hugues de Montalembert
Imagine an artist, whose art relies on his sight - sculpture, painting, and film. Then, robbers attacked his home in New York and blinded him with acid. Invisible is a terse memoir, the artist writing about the experience of being blinded and how he lived afterward. He acknowledges that losing his sight changed his life, and he writes about the despair he felt about it at first. But he learns to live with it, and even had a more adventurous life after blindness. He learned to swallow his pride and accept that he has to be helped, he even began to travel the world. He also learned to appreciate and use his remaining senses. A great book to remind us not to let setbacks let us down.



Thursday, January 2, 2014

Books read: 2013

Books read in 2013 (not counting rereads, short stories, various online stories, and yet unfinished books):

1. Before ever after – Samantha Sotto
2. Blood Oranges – Kathleen Tierney
3. The Drama of the Gifted Child – Alice Miller
4. The Master and Margarita – Mikhail Bulgakov
5. All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten – Robert Fulghum
6. Thinner than thou – Kit Reed
7. The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms – N.K. Jemisin
8. The Broken Kingdoms – N.K. Jemisin
9. Caedmon’s Song – Peter Robinson
10. The Sunday Philosophy Club – Alexander McCall Smith
11. Look Great, Feel Great – Joyce Meyer
12. Lord Foul’s Bane – Stephen R. Donaldson
13. Paisley Girl – Fran Gordon
14. The King of Nothing to do – Luis Katigbak
15. The Nearly Ultimate Guide to Better Writing – Mary Jacksch
16. Deathless – Catherynne M. Valente
17. Flowers in the Attic – V.C. Andrews
18. Where Angels Fear to Tread – E.M. Forster
19. The Story Within: New inspiration for writers – Laura Oliver
20. We Have Always Lived in the Castle – Shirley Jackson
21. The Oresteia – Aeschylus (translated by Tom Hughes)
22. Invisible: A Memoir – Hugues de Montalembert
23. Battle Horse – Harry Kullman
24. 7 Habits of highly effective teens – Sean Covey
25. Writing down the Bones – Natalie Goldberg

I also reread The Drowning Girl by Caitlin R. Kiernan so many times I can’t count.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

2013, a year in review

Overall, it has been a good year. I've been feeling the blues now and then, but I got over them. I lost 'friends' but those have been my decisions and I'm willing to live with the consequences. Nah, that sounds like drama but nothing dramatic has happened.

I've learned and realized a lot of small things I wished I did earlier. Like how to swim properly, I just discovered it could be fun, how the only trick to learn is not to panic and let the water work for you and not against you. Like wearing dresses is much more comfortable, and convenient for laundry than the usual ensemble of shirt and jeans. Small things that are actually pleasant, like being more kind and grateful to my family, and learning to be a better friend to others who also support me.

I've learned how important it is to not let other people define myself. Sometimes, people may seem to have good intentions but are actually trying to control me. Other people will think what they want, have their own opinions about others. But what I dislike is when they impose their thoughts, thinking that their opinion and what's best for them will be best for me. They probably don't realize that they're hurting people, when they don't even know the situation of that person, but run their mouths with self-important opinions without truly listening or understanding the other person's side. I realized that there are right people you should listen to, and listening to the wrong people who think they are right will only make it worse. It is not self-centered to say, Thank you, but I know who I am better, and your opinions are shit and stop shoving them to me. You shove yours to mine anyway, but act like I don't have a right to talk back. So here, I'm shoving it back to your face. Then leave with a dramatic turn, walk away, and don't look back.

We're getting far from the subject of new year. This year, I started writing more, a few poems (some which I've posted here) and some stories (which are not here), but I think I've improved a lot. The best way of learning a thing is doing it. Next year, I want to write more.

Also: the only important thing in school is enjoying learning. Everything else is secondary. I know most students these days act cynical towards their studies, and I think that's a sad thing. I really loathed going to school when I started college. But when I discovered subjects I enjoyed, like Library & Information Science, I never think of reports and assignments and papers as a bother. I loved doing them, because my enthusiasm was like an endless well. And getting good grades was just a bonus. And what did I get from that? I got the university scholarship twice this year, and didn't have to pay my full tuition for two semesters, saved a lot of cash problems. Not that they are my goals, but I think they're a result of positive things leading to more positive things.

That's it. The thought of 2014 is both scary and exciting. Going back to school this January will be hectic.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Library Labyrinth [a poem]

(Note: This was crammed one early morning, a teacher asked me to contribute something to the scrapbook for another teacher's birthday. She forgot about it, I forgot about it, so it wasn't included in anything.)

libraries, living books, poems about books, poems about libraries, labyrinths, maze, poetry, literary

I cannot recall when I was born
But I have been wandering in this labyrinth
For as long as I could remember.
I know of no other world other than this maze,
Where infinite books line eternal shelves –
And I am in a journey where I don’t know where to go
One of the books tell of a story:
That there is another open world outside, unlike this place.
Maybe I am walking to find a way out.
I have met the blind Librarian once,
A crazed man believing himself a prophet
Mulling over tomes of braille and false Bibles,
Books all older than me by centuries.
He said that the labyrinth was a universe expanding,
And he fed me a book, and in hunger I could not refuse,
and told me I am now the book,
My skin suddenly showing tattooed typography
of a language I cannot understand,
text so dense I cannot see my skin anymore.
I did not see him again, and I hide myself in thick robes.
The other seekers of this labyrinth,
Chase after me with swords and knives,
thinking that I am what they are looking for.
They will skin me open, they believe, that I am the Book of Answers,
that I am a Door to the End of this World,
the death of this eternal labyrinth.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Thoughts on Cataloging and Filipiniana

Excuse these random, incoherent thoughts. I think I'm gonna start a series of posts on 'How a Library Works' as I get assigned in a university library's different sections. Next post will be about Technical Services...
- - - - -
In my short stint in the Cataloging section, I noticed was most books by Filipinos were self-published. And these are great and well-written books of poetry and biographies! If only more people would know about them. (I noticed my shelves are full of books by foreign authors. Well, foreign books are much more readily available to us after all. But I wish that in the future, our books would outnumber the foreign ones.)

One thing I noticed while encoding books: you don't see a lot of long, big novels by Filipinos. What we usually have are textbooks, and poetry/essays/short fiction collections. It's also one thing I've noticed in the local book shop Precious Pages, that aside from short Tagalog romance novellas, the rest are mostly comics and graphic novels. I have yet to see Stephen King-style fat paperbacks. I did see a large romance/fantasy trilogy, but it was only one. Correct me if I'm wrong. When I asked my sister about it, she said that she thinks we don't have enough patience to write or read long books. But I'm not complaining, there are plenty of good writers and artists for those books.
- - - - -
One thing that was taught to us in our Filipiniana subject was books published here, to use the term of our teacher, was 'fly by night'. They are published in a few copies and are fast out of print. So, to remedy this, the National Library has taken steps to enact laws like: authors should submit copies of their published books to the National Library.

In one of the books I read while in Cataloging, I came across an article written by a rare books collector, that we don't put much value in old books which are important historical sources. The bad thing is, its pretty difficult to keep track of them when there are very few copies existing, and sometimes these are the only evidence of history. He had seen owners whose old books live in haphazard conditions leading to damage. In what I've learned in our Archives subject, paper books have very specific requirements for preservation -- humidity and moisture must be controlled. And in our country with extremes in weather, these books stored carelessly in homes turn up in bad conditions. And there is a growing, expensive market outside the country for these books.

Did you know that the oldest copy of the Doctrina Christiana, the first published book in this country, is now in the Library of Congress? But not that I'm complaining exactly, because I think the LC can be trusted to preserve it well.