In high school, I heard introvert used as an insult to describe weirdos who seemed to have their own worlds. Now in Psych class in college, I learned that introvert is just an aspect of personality, and not at all what those off-hand remarks meant (but even then I heard one classmate smugly say that its a word for losers).
~*~
I'm a person with no people. I don't have a lot of friends. I can count the people I can really talk to on one hand. My phone's inbox is empty, I can live without it. I can stay for a long time without talking or seeing anyone. I'm used to being alone. Why I left Facebook*, its my only contact with all the people I used to know, who don't know me anymore, there's no chance I'll see again. I want to forget them, as I want them to forget the me they knew. I want to forget the me I was.
~*~
When I transferred to a new school, I saw someone who was my classmate for 10 years since Grade 1 to high school. He gave me this 'Here's another 4 years in the same school and your ugly face' look. Its weird seeing someone just there for so long, but whom I don't know and never even had a straight conversation with, but in a way we grew up together. Later, he's already saying things from years ago, things I have forgotten, things I never knew about myself. Even about papers checked from Grade 4, embarrassing things. Curse old classmates with long memories.
~*~
This made me remember those people in the past I had falling-out with. You're so close with this person, then there's this sudden strain where people arrive, you can't stop change, then you're strangers. You can't talk to them again, there's something awkward hanging on the air when you pass by each other.
Its been a long time since I last saw them. Now I find myself missing them. Maybe it was my fault, too. Still, people get new friends, and until now I feel that I was left behind.
*5/6/11 I ate my words.
*5/6/11 I ate my words.
"You can't talk to them again, there's something awkward hanging on the air when you pass by each other. "
ReplyDelete-- happens to me. hahaha. mga close mo bala sang unsa subong indi mo na masyado matagad. kag kun i-introduce mo sya bala sa iban malingin ulo mo kung no 'title' nya. "Bestfriend ko gali sang una" or "Ex-bestfriend ko gali", para mas frank. tsssst.
Haaay, ako ya wala ko kabalo kung ano i-react kung makita ko sila liwat... gusto ko man maka-isturya sa ila liwat e, pero daw indi na gid mag-balik kung ano kamo ka-close sang-una. May friends ako nga halos 8 years, nga upod naman kami dako, pero daw gulpi lang wala na.
ReplyDeleteMu na gani awkward ang isturya kay Mr.Classmate-for-a-Decade (guess mo na kung sin-o)... mangkot sya, te kamusta na si amu ni or amo na, indi ko man mahambal nga wla na to kami ka-isturyahanay for years.
Kung kis-a ga.pretend na lang ko gani nga wala ko sila nakita. Hahahaha.
ReplyDeleteNacurious ko kung cn.o ni si Mr.Classmate-for-a-Decade.
Si Arvin a. Schoolmate halin sa SPED, SSC asta sa CPU.
ReplyDeleteCPU siya gali?! B ko sa John B bla! HAHAHA! Epic fail. Guess ko dad kay either Chrismie or si Adrian. D ko galing sure kung SPED sila halin. Hehe
ReplyDeleteEngineering sya to upod si Aika nga Accountancy. Si Chrismie (Accountancy) kag si Adi (Psych) sa UP. Pero ang Marketing/accountancy sa UP Iloilo ang the rest ara sa Miag-ao.
ReplyDelete